glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
