I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
