Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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