My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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