I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
