He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize