my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
