I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
