I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
