her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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