therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
