also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
