i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
