I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
