apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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