We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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