his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
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