he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
