she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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