So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
