In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
