omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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