I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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