where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
