There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
