No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
