I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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