I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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