One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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