I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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