coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
sex in a hospital.. check
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize