I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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