So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
