i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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