the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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