new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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