shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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