nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
