This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Alive.
So much puke
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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