My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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