I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
