DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
