Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize