not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Houston, we have a squirter
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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