yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
