Already got asked if we're dating
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
