help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
