I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
my liver is dry heaving
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
