remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
