That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
