They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
