it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
