shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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