Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
