If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
