You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
