The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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