You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
