Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
