In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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