I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
