someone threw a dead crab at me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
