Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
