i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
