Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think i have herpe
just one?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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