I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
